Ep 99: What if You Liked Yourself?

Every time I put an ornament on my tree, I hear my mother's voice "You're doing it wrong! You can't mix gold with silver!" An emailer asks if she should quit her dream of being a social worker because of a failed first gig. I discuss failure and why it's such a loaded word. Speaking of words, do we have to be ultra sensitive about what words we choose? Did the PC movement of the 90's work? This European-American has some thoughts on that...let's get our lives and get DEEEEEEEP on it. 

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Ep 98: You Control Nothing But Enjoy it All

The holidays are here and CP has some rules.  I goddamn refuse to do anything out of obligation anymore. Find out how that went... We moved and what I know is I control nothing and workers love taking dumps in my house. I answer some emails about making important decisions. So much going on I can't wait to get deep on all of this! Life = gotten, bros!

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Ep 97: The Aftermath

What. The. Fuck. Yup, it happened. Trump is president. Now what? Let's process this then answer some emails. A gay man just came out to his family and has regrets. Also, do you have to be a sociopath to succeed in life? Let's get deep on ALLLLLL of this, bros. 

 

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Ep 96: I Wanna Be (Self) Adored

The secret wisdom of the Stone Roses. I answer an email from a woman who has achieved so much, but still feels like shit. How is this possible?!?! Everyone has heard of self esteem, but who really has it?  How do you get it when most of us have had shit turds as parents? Also a 27 year-old bro wonders whether or not to quit his day job and if the grass is truly greener? Let's get 90's deep on it all, bros. 

 

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Ep 95: Mommy Issues

After a transformative trip to the Midwest, I have a deep revelation about my mom. But it applies to all people who disappoint us or make us angry. What's the key to a good relationship? I'm not 100% sure but it has to do with having someone to lift weights with. Let's get our lives and get super deep on it all, bros! 

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Ep 94: stop freaking out!

This week I discuss a freak out I had over my kid getting his first fever. How do we know when we are overreacting to a situation? And why are we attracted to people who aren't good for us? This episode explores these issues and why losing a pet is super devastating. Let's get extra deep on this, bros!!

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Ep 93: One Year Later with Kevin Christy

About one year ago, Kevin Christy came on the show (Episode 42) and we talked about grief. He lost his father and I had just lost my mother. My grief was fresh and he had a few years under his belt. So one year has passed and how have things changed? The odd thing is, grief has made both of us happier - but how?!?! Kevin and I get deep on the lessons of grief and how to hold it together when shit falls apart. In this episode you will get your entire life after a death! 

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Listen to Kevin on his podcast "Occasionally Awesome" with Nick Youssef on All Things Comedy Network. Watch him on Masters of Sex and see him do stand up. Twitter @kevingchristy 

Listen to Kevin on his podcast "Occasionally Awesome" with Nick Youssef on All Things Comedy Network. Watch him on Masters of Sex and see him do stand up. Twitter @kevingchristy 

Ep 92: "But What IS Normal?"

My whole life, I've wanted to violently beat anyone who chalks up shitty behavior to the phrase "but what IS normal?" Despite the psychological community's insistence that there is no norm, I think there is. If you've grown up in a dysfunctional home, you know for a fact there IS a "normal" and it probably involves not getting hammered and throwing plates of food at each other. In this episode I discuss the traits of adult children of Alcoholics - but I have a feeling you don't need a drunk Mommy or Daddy to relate to a lot of this stuff. Let's get deeeeeeep as fuck on it, bros. 

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Adult Children of Alcoholics
By Janet G. Woititz

Ep 91: Taking the Leap and Conquering that Bitch Named Fear

Why do people hate being 40? Usually because their life sucks. You don't have to hate your age just because society expects you to. Also, why are we so afraid of change and what can be done to take the leap into doing something you really want to do? This week I saw some friends I hadn't seen in over 20 years! What I learned is that going for the dreams is terrifying but you have to otherwise you will hate yourself when you're 40. My friends and I took our leaps and here's some stuff I learned along the way. 

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Ep 90: Be Here Now - But Have Some Goals, Slacker!

People bringing bed pillows and blankets to meditation class? I uncover some disturbing social realities at my Mommy and Me class. My mid-life crisis has manifested in some troubling ways. I answer emails and we discover how to be in the moment while pursuing our goals. Also, a lady wants to find better friends, but how and where? I discuss why exactly Bert Kreischer is so fat. Also, should a young man go to Europe and have life experiences or start his life as a struggling comedian in NY? This life is so complicated, so let's untangle all of it! LIFE = Gotten. 

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Ep 89: Does Madonna Change Diapers?

Deeper than ever, this episode goes waaay down the rabbit hole. So get ready to get your entire life. Does Madonna change diapers? What is the secret to not hulking out in a rage around your parents? Also, I get deep on some listener emails. A young man with a gang member family writes in about haunting memories. A couple is pregnant and terrified! Also, why do women feel pressured to look hot all the time? You’re gonna find out in this week’s episode, bros! 

 

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Ep 88: Spiritual Enema

This episode is a spiritual enema! I finally tried Reiki. Should I do it on my baby now? My lost weekend with John Lennon and why does Yoko Ono seem so horrible? My revelation post-Reiki and why I've been a selfish, loveless turd most of my life up until now. I answer some emails - should a lady with 3 kids move in with her boyfriend? How should you deal with people who put down your job? Do you have cripplingly fearful thoughts every night before bed?   Then this is the podcast for you! 

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Emailer Alex's rice bowl experiment a la Dr. Emoto. The one on the left received loving messages. The middle was neutral the right bowl received hateful messages. POSITIVE PEOPLE!!  

Emailer Alex's rice bowl experiment a la Dr. Emoto. The one on the left received loving messages. The middle was neutral the right bowl received hateful messages. POSITIVE PEOPLE!!  

Ep 87: Bitches Be Lyin' 2

It's been 8 months since I started my journey as a mom and what has changed since I recorded "Bitches Be Lyin'"?  My penpal Beth and I discuss the unspoken stuff about parenthood. All the taboo things "good moms" aren't supposed to feel - let alone say! Now that I'm a mom do I have to make my facebook profile pic a pic of my son? Have I lost who I used to be now that I'm a member of the most sacred institution there is? Find out in this week's episode. Let's get deep and get our goddamn mommy lives back (somewhat).

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Ep 86: Who the Fu*# are you?

After an angry meditation session, I decided that happiness is a horrible goal. How do you know what your passion is in life? Do you have a sense of intuition? I answer an email about a mom who feels like she's losing her identity after having kids. Also, a 19 year old gay man wants to know where the dudes at? So much in this episode, if you haven't gotten your life yet you WILL!!

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Ep 85: Life is a Terrifying Adventure!

I watched the Tony Robbins doc on Netflix. Wow am I inspired to stop being such a chicken shit! More truths about motherhood that bitches be lyin about. Also, "Wanna know why you're all fucked up?" I answer your emails. Should a man let his Fundamentalist Baptist father marry him, even though they haven't been cool for years? What should a guy do to get over being dumped? Can new exes be friends? You're about to find out. Let's get super deep on allllllllll of this bros. 

 

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Dan Pena

Dan Pena

 

 

 

Ep 84: Fend off Emotional Vampires!

This episode I delve into the scary realm of Emotional Vampires. These demons in human form rob you of your time and energy. All you wanna do after hanging with one is sleep. Also, I went to a Mommy and Me class and survived! What to do if your girlfriend's kid is a pussy. Does your spouse wear a hideous denim skirt? Then this episode is for YOU.

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Follow Jesus. Enjoy the show!

 

 

Ep 83: Get Your Entire Life

In this episode I answer an email from a guy who says coworkers disrespect him and annoy the hell out of him. He bottles it up and then rages on strangers. If you're wondering what's going on, I can tell you. A lovely 25 year-old girl has live-in boyfriend troubles and a young man with a foot fetish doesn't know how to find a girlfriend. Can you guess what the common thread is to all these problems? You gotta listen to get your entire life.  After this episode, your life = gotten.

 

 

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Follow your own intuition. Enjoy the show!

 

 

 

 

Ep 82: Stop Dating Losers & Meet a Nice Guy Already!

I answer an email from a sweet 25 year-old girl who asks how she can stop attracting douchebags, losers, jerks, abusers and assholes. With my patented 10 step program, you will deflect any douchebag that approaches you and find the man of your dreams! My 10 steps are proven to work - I learned them from my MOM. Also, is the world as dangerous as Trump says? And should you try and repair a relationship with a shitheel parent? All this and more in this episode. Let's get super deep on it, bros! 

 

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Ep 81: Feelings are the Worst!

I cry about twice a year. It's all I can stomach. Today I discuss allowing feelings (as terrifying as they are) and avoiding conflict with turds. Do you hate mommy blogs as much as I do? And what about the magic of break dancing movies from the 80's? Let's dig in and leave the prozac at home. You can feel feelings! Just don't talk about it!

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Ep 80: Accepting the Sh&$ Out of What Is

Is your dad a Reese Bobby from Talladega Nights or a John Goodman from Roseanne? It doesn't actually matter bc you're gonna have to accept whoever is biologically related to you. Also what kind of bra should you buy? I answer it all and take a listener email. 

Reese Bobby from Talladega Nights

Reese Bobby from Talladega Nights

 

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