Ep 119: The Horrors of Approval Seeking and Perfectionism

I watched 13 Reasons Why and loved it almost as much as my beloved BH90210.  High school sucks donkey dicks and in this episode I uncover why. The compelling reasons to attend college (to become interesting and drink Zima). My favorite new British Baking Show contestant and the deepness of her victory. It's not just about avoiding a soggy bottom! Why you can't necessarily DO everything. I mean you can, just not perfectly. How do we make peace with doing things imperfectly. Also, what are our limits and who defines them? A 34 year-old single woman writes in feeling the panic of her biological clock ticking away. She's newly single and wants to find her forever jeans! The horrors of modern-day dating. A Mormon girl writes in and asks how she can get over her competitiveness. She hates games! It may have something to do with approval seeking...and the good opinion of others...The book I recommend is by Wayne Dyer: 

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Ep 118: Overcoming (Ignoring) Societal Norms

I accidentally downloaded a Christian audio book but still managed to glean some wisdom about perfectionism before the endless bible quotes sent me running. Why is everyone else seemingly doing "it" right but me? I have a theory. All the great psychological truths are in Sesame Street.  I grew up in an era where girls were told they could be secretaries or hairdressers - how does one transcend societal norms?! An emailer asks if it's possible that he's already gotten his life at just 24 years old?  An overweight bro asks how to lose weight. I divulge my foolproof post-baby French methods. Such a big episode, let's get it alllllll, bros! 

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Ep 117: Balance, Fear and Addiction to the Awful

This episode I discuss the myth of "shy actors" and why that's just code for being anti-social. Also, after a viewing of the film "Reality Bites" it occurs to me how insanely different life was in a pre-panopticon existence (fancy word). An emailer writes in asking how she can overcome her anxiety and irrational fears about quitting her job. Will she ever find another job ever again?!? A man writes in asking how to deal with his demanding mother. "Mummy, may I live my life?" And a woman addicted to a stressful job wants to know how to let go. It's allllll here and it's all so deep. Let's get our lives in this episode! 

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Ep 116: The Art of Distracting Yourself So You Don't Blow It.

This episode I uncover the difference between detachment vs non-attachment. How does one stay aloof like Jackie O while getting shit done? To care and not care at the same time is THE skill to master. Tom Segura stops in for an impromptu discussion on non attachment and stage fright. The myth and legend of the White Duke of Malibu. Also, a young man writes in asking if he should let the ladies know he is almost a virgin. Also, how does one deal with performance anxiety (it's not sexual!)? Get your life and you will find it all out. 

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115: Why Did I Wait So Long?

I replaced a crown after being in pain for 5 years. Why the hell did I wait so long? Why does anyone wait so long to make the changes they really want to? How do we get unstuck?  Marianne Williamson has a great suggestion. Also, a man gave me free tacos and I almost cried. There are kind people in LA! Sesame Street blew my mind this week with the word of the day - "Unique". 

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Ep 114: Getting Your Adult Life

Still reeling from the results of the Great British Baking show, I discuss my favorite baker, Ruby. Why do I love her self-deprecation so much? It's so English! Also, the magic of puttering and finding a parking spot. What type of faith does one need to find ample parking? An emailer writes in about the imminent release of her abusive stepfather from prison. What should she do? You may not have a parent in prison, but what about a toxic one? How do you know if yours are? I discuss the 9 ways to know. A woman writes in who wants to help her boyfriend get his life. But how??? Also, a list of my fave self help books. Surprise! One is by Dr. Laura - don't hate me...

The Magic of Believing
By Claude M. Bristol

 

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Ep 113: When You're an Imposter

...Or just feel like one. A listener emails in - he made it to an Ivy League school but feels like he doesn't deserve to be there. His peers have't been thru the horrific stuff he has and he feels like maybe nobody can relate. I get it, let's get deep on it. Also a woman who practices witchcraft asks if she should come out to the people in her community. Should she be out and proud or hide that shit?? Where do we draw the line on being out on stuff? Also, subversion. What function does it provide in society and when is it just to annoy people? Let's get our entire lives and get deep as F#ck. 

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Ep 112: When the Sh*t Hits The Fan

This past week I had a flat tire during rush hour on the 405. What did I do???  It may have involved foraging for stale water bottles and Door Dash. Also, why do people always think other people have it so much worse than them? Being entitled to your story is important. How many Existential Crises are normal within a year and what should you do when shit gets REAL? You'll find out. I answer an email from a good guy who can't seem to get the girl. Why are people disingenuous with others - like the ridiculous Garth Brooks videos oozing praise on the lighting guys? I read responses from people who have worked as psychics! Are they real?  You'll have to get your entire life and find out. 

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Ep 110: Non-Binary Explained!

After months of confusion I've finally spoken to an actual non-binary person! Freddie gave some insight into what being non-binary means and why it's so confusing for people to understand.  I finally get to ask all my burning questions - like is it appropriate to ask a stranger "Hey, what's your pronoun?" Also, why it's horrible to call employees "Team Members" (barf). It's all here, so get your life! 

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Ep 111: Starting Over - The Temporary Nature of Identity

This episode I discuss the phenomena of over-parenting, narrating every aspect of your child's experience and other people's shitty kids. Also, what is so bad about "starting over"? A friend is on the verge of a major life change but is reluctant because he'd be "starting over". What does that mean and why are we so hell bent on staying the same? Our sense of identity is important, but it can also be holding us back. A woman emails about her annoyance with writer Elizabeth Gilbert's recent news of becoming a lesbian. Why would someone suddenly turn gay at 40? Also what wisdom can be gleaned from the film "Mona Lisa Smile". You're about to find out and get your life. 

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Ep 109: Who Was the Walrus?

After fulfilling a decade long dream of learning Transcendental Meditation, I do a very unenlightened thing and eat at Tony Roma's. Is all of Tony Roma's food frozen? It might be. More thoughts on The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F#ck.  A lovely Canadian man writes in about a long distance love that may be dwindling. Should he still get a visa to be with her? Also, why was a 4 ft tall guy wearing nothing but purple and high heels able to convince us he was a sex symbol? All this and more - GET YOUR LIFE! 

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Ep 108: Backwards Law & Not Giving a F#ck

In this episode I cover the book "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck" by Mark Manson and the paradoxical Backwards Law. How is it that the less we give a shit, the better we do at something? I explore all this and more, so get your life and get super deep on it, bros.

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107: The Marriage/Relationships Episode

This is it - a big list of things I believe keep a marriage happy and thriving. Does it involve shutting the fuck up sometimes? Maybe. And what about the biggies - sex, money and laundry? It's all here in this episode. After being with the same dude for 12 years, this is what I have learned. Just for YOU. Get super deep on it, bros and get your life! 

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Ep 106: Why Do I Keep Doing Things I Hate?

Versailles, Victoria and the Crown. My current obsession with royalty and why it's all bullshit. Why do I do things I hate to myself over and over? My Starbucks Revelation! The wonderful emotional benefits of Botox. Also, listener emails! More horrible corporate speak - doubleplus good! Circle back! What are male daddy issues? 6 ways to know you are a man with daddy issues. A lesbian writes in and wants to know how she should propose to her lady - and how should she contend with tradition? A woman wants to take a trip but her fiance doesn't want her to go. How much compromise is necessary in a relationship? Let's get so deep on it, bros.

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EP 105: Can You love & hate your mommy at the sAME TIME?

The 24 hour work cycle has become the worshipped paradigm for Americans. Crush it! Never Stop! But is it really the way to go? Also, I discuss ambivalence and how it can change your life! Did you know you can simultaneously love and hate something at the same time?! My shrink taught me all about that. The Mommy Myth and how it has made American Mothers feel like shit. Also some listener emails - one gal wants to get her life, but is afraid of being by herself. Why does she get freaked out when she's not doing something? A man has BBD syndrome (Bigger, Better Deal) with women. What's going on here and how can he get his love life? 

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Ep 104: The Catalyst For Change - Old School Shame & Self Loathing

My husband won the weight loss challenge. What motivates someone to make a change? I think shame and self loathing are wonderful motivators! I had an epiphany about social media - I finally GET IT! Cameron Dallas is adorable and a millionaire and now I KNOW WHY! I answer emails - one man is a 30 year-old sociopathic virgin who needs to get his life. Shitbag parents who call once a year to borrow money. What should you do?  Let's get all deep and change it all this year, BROS.  

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Ep 103: I Hate in You What I See in Myself

This episode I get deep on a talk given by Alan Watts. He references Carl Jung and his "Element of Irreducible Rascality" - meaning Jung was a fully integrated deep ass bro who accepted all parts of his emotional world. He had a rascally twinkle in his eye because he accepted what was guilty, shameful and anxious in himself. Being someone who has all these feelings, I'd like to know how it's possible to feel all these things and not get all wound up over it. Also, why are people rude to wait staff? Jung may have some insight into that as well. Let's get deeeeeeep on it, bros. 

 

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Ep 102: Creating What We Defend Against (And Other Stuff I Unconsciously Do)

This holiday season, I'm most thankful for my therapist. I have a breakthrough regarding my neurotic need to stop being like my parents. I explore the idea of "creating what we defend against" from the Course in Miracles. Also, what does it mean to live small and how do we not do that in 2017? I saw Star Wars and love the Orphan Mythology - how powerful the theme is and how it can be applied to our lives. Also, more on drinking the Motherhood Kool-Aid. I drank more of that shit and found myself deep down a rabbit hole of maternal insecurity. There's so much to get deep on, you may wanna just put on a black turtleneck and beret to listen. Light a cigarette, hide from your boss, LET'S GET DEEP for the last time in 2016!

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Ep 101: Cognitive Behavioral Fart

As my in-laws are here, I sneak into the studio and record this episode. I'm reading about Cognitive Behavioral Therapy - just the first half of the book - but I feel like I know where it's heading. No more negative thoughts! Also, let's talk about aging. Why is it perceived as the worst thing imaginable in our culture? Also, is marriage for everyone? And what do you do with a partner/loved one who is addicted to drugs? Do you let them come over for the holidays and make everyone uncomfortable as F*ck? Let's get deep on it and celebrate, yo!

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Ep 100: My 100th Episode!

Holy shit! Episode 100. I've been doing this show for over two years now and what have I learned? This episode lays it all out. Top lessons from doing 100 episodes of That's Deep Bro. Let's get so deep we get our lives! 

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